Wednesday 24 November 2010

My shoes never let me down



I'm having a bad technology week. So bad that I want to take everything in my life that flashes, beeps or rings, and make a big pot of tech stew. Everything except my iPad (which was a gift) because I don't use it nearly enough for it to piss me off. Plus, I feel like it makes me look cool, and since I no longer smoke and have hit the mid-30s hump, I can really use the cred. But between my BlackBerry failing to wake me up for a meeting the other day, both my email addresses getting hacked and Gmail suspending me from sending out emails for 24 hours, I'm about ready to convert to Luddism.

I remember going on a date with this guy when I lived in London who was one of these real political-activist types; all Pro-Labour Party and America is Evil and Capitalists Have Raped the World. Mostly sentiments that I was (and continue to be) quick to point out I agree with. I'm a socialist in a rabid consumerist's clothing, I agree that America can be evil — have you read this?! — and maybe capitalists have raped the world, although I'm loathe to give up my fancy car. Eventually our conversation migrated to technology and the rising price of gadgets and how we, as white, privileged Westerners, dispense of our disposable income. (Not that I have a great deal of disposable income, mind you. I am a writer after all. But, you know, I spend.) In a nutshell, my politically enlightened date (who was so enlightened we went Dutch) felt that his spending $500 on a tech gadget was far more magnanimous than my dropping $500 on a pair of shoes.

And this is what I said to him (well, not exactly, but whatever):

There's no magnanimity in spending $500 on any one thing, unless it's food for the hungry, so let's not overstate things. The thing with technology is you're spending a large sum of money up front for a product that you already know will peter out on you sooner or later (or sooner THAN later — ha! See what I did there?). And the chances are pretty great that it's going to be at a really inconvenient time. We buy tech gadgets — computers, Smartphones, DVD players, digital recorders — and know they're not going to work for long. And "long" is getting shorter and shorter every day. Sure, refrigerators and washing machines and dishwashers need to be replaced, too. As do spark plugs, mufflers, engine cooling thingies and under-the-hood-stuffs. But after what? Like, ten years? I've only had my BlackBerry for 18 months and it's already going screwy. My last PowerBook, which cost a few THOUSAND dollars, lasted less than four years.

Meanwhile, my Gianfranco Ferre leather jacket is a decade old and still looks crazy cool. My circa 1994 Versace dress that I wore to a friend's wedding last summer got me one very handsome admirer, proving it still works, and the Marc Jacobs shoes I had to buy in LA five years ago when Delta lost my luggage — isn't technology meant to ensure that doesn't happen? — can still make an outfit.

I admit, when my PowerBook went tits-up I bought another one, although I went for the cheapest MacBook on the market at the time. And yeah, I love having a BlackBerry, which allows me to cut the cord between me and my computer and get on with my daily life. I'm hyper aware of how technology has changed and facilitated my job — I mean, when I was in graduate school my professors were advertising the freakin' phone book as our greatest resource and we were forced to get a daily subscription to the New York Times. Someone once mentioned in class that she was reading the paper online and we were Blown Away. So, yeah, I appreciate technology and, you know, evolution. But it also consistently fails me. And you too, so don't pretend.

My shoes don't, though. My Chanel flats may give me blisters sometimes and I can't wear my Stella McCartney heels for more than two hours at a time (I actually initially typed "hells" instead of "heels" — paging Dr. Freud!), but they never purported to be comfortable, just stylish and pretty. I guess what I'm saying is, I wish technology would be a little more honest and stop telling me that it's going to change my life. Unless by change my life it means make me a Luddite. In which case, touché, technology.

I never did go on a second date with that guy. In all honesty, there wasn't any chemistry and frankly, I can't be with a man who doesn't support my relationship with designer footwear. Men may come and go, but my shoes never let me down.

8 comments:

  1. Pity we didn't all know at the time of your ill-fated date that cell phones and computers and blackberries are loaded to the brim with conflict minerals like tin, gold and tungsten. Your pontificating gasbag of a dinner companion would have been hard-pressed to rationalize his geeky tech toys given what mining for their production has done to the political stability of the Congo. And anyone who decides that *their* frivolous purchase is morally superior to *your* frivolous purchase is to be ignored. You'll never knock the smugness out of them so why bother trying. They need to feel better than you as they rant away about capitalism before explaining why their new 4G phone is so critically important to human life. So dreary and undergrad. Of course he wanted to go dutch. Yeesh.
    And finally, I know I'm supposed to feel bad that all technology declared war on you this week, but what I am really sorry about is that your Chanels are giving you blisters. My deepest sympathies. They are truly lovely, if that's any consolation.
    Liza

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  2. Great post, Marilisa - and a bit of an eyeopener for a self-professed tech gadget guy. I'm all about the latest and greatest device knowing full-well it has a short shelf-life. Hey, maybe that fits with my also short- technology-induced-attention-span. I do see the merit about something that lasts beyond the next upgrade - shoes for you. I'm thinking a suit for me...

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  3. Liza, where were you when I was on a date with that guy? I could've used your knowledge, dude.

    Martin, if you need help selecting a suit, I'm your gal!

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  4. "tits up" - just like the colonel - nice one Mari
    Al

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  5. No one understands me like you do, Al.

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  6. Oh, I'd be no help on the actual date. I'm the polite one nodding and saying "mmm" a lot to every outrageous (or bullying) statement. I only think of what to say long after the fact. But I would have had a lot of post-date rage on your behalf.
    Liza

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  7. I don't know magnanimous means. But as far as technology changing people the example that sticks in my mind is the printing press. It has been suggested that the various factions of Christianity wwere a consequence of the printing press. The printing press allowed people to read the Bible privatley, rather than being preached to publicly. Consequently, the Bible became something to be interpeted. We now interpreted the Bible, and our relationship with the word of God started to approach a conversation. But I still don't know what magnanimous means, even with the internet at my fingertips. I suppose capitalism has changed us as well. And fashion. And everything else.

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  8. My Doc Martens cost more than a hundred dollars but they are surviving longer than some of my ipods have.

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