Tuesday 29 October 2013

The woman who created a new eating disorder


In the ever expanding landscape of humiliating/insulting pursuits in the name of shameless self-promotion, a 23-year-old struggling actress in Toronto has started a blog called A Penniless Girl, Bad Dates & Plenty of Oysters. Her goal is to have as many first dates as her extensive restaurant wishlist calls for, at no personal expense, natch. Her modus operandi starts with, "I've got a pretty face & a pretty extensive Urban Spoon wish list," and concludes with, "Follow me to learn who I screw over, bang and love as I navigate Torontos [sic] diners, drive-ins and dives."

Many enraging elements collide in this blog for me, making it an emotional and intellectual mushroom bomb. Not the least of which is her inability to differentiate between "to" and "too", her erratic apostrophe placement when using the possessive, a clear lack of knowledge on correct comma use, and the scattering of ampersands and cardinal numbers throughout her copy. An English major, this gal is not. I'm not so out of touch that I don't realize that 20somethings don't adhere to the classical rules of grammar and syntax, but if the campaign to revere all that is young and nubile, and which is eternally put forth by Hollywood, US Weekly and cosmetic dermatologists, is going to continue to subliminally worm its way into my atrophying cerebral hemispheres, I'm going to have to insist that its messages are at least correctly written and phrased. Also, I doubt if la Société, Jabistro and Canoe fall into the category of diner, drive-in or dive.

She often employs the philosophical articulation "haters gon' hate", which will precede a photo of herself hosing down a car in a bikini, or a self-deprecating selfie where she pulls a silly face while orchestrating a #superdupercute look. She also continuously references her pretty face. Frankly, I think it's refreshing for a young girl woman to be confident about her looks. She is pretty and she has a lovely figure, but why would I hate her for that? I'm tired of this generation distorting what it means to display self-confidence and assuming that they will be hated for it, especially by other women. The only reason a hater will hate is if you parade yourself and your confidence out there like a douchebag, as if saying: "Look at me! I'm hotter than you. Deal." But express your confidence with class and dignity and just an iota of humility, and others will celebrate it along with you. I don't hate you, but I do find you incredibly annoying. #annoyersgonannoy

Finally, I can't shake the unsettling sensation I get from a person, regardless of age or gender, plainly setting out to take advantage of people. She makes her point very clear that she's not looking for a boyfriend but a meal ticket to some of the city's finer restaurants. She doesn't do second dates and since being exposed on Reddit, says she's zeroing in on newly arrived Canadians who haven't heard of her and her blog. If it were a man doing this, we'd be calling for his head. Obviously, a lot of what she writes is sheer bravado with a healthy dose of irreverence, but it doesn't excuse the fact that she is blatantly using men for their money, in some cases treating them badly and in others expressing an obligation to sleep with them. This is the worst possible message to broadcast to women of her generation, or any other.

It's possible that she thinks she's going to cute her way through this while deluding herself that she's making a valid social statement — IDK, maybe about the state of modern love or gender manipulation or how fast her metabolism works — and trying to position herself as a credible restaurant critic. And let's face it, she'll get away with it. She probably will land a gig as a restaurant reviewer for some alt-weekly.com of sorts and develop a following of nose-thumbing young foodies who will continue her mission to exploit men for a meal. She'll soon learn, however, that that "living" will barely cover the cost of a side dish at her favourite resto, and that eating alone kind of sucks. Because if there's one thing the internet doesn't do, it's delete things that happened in the past. Good luck shaking this image, sister.

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